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Can’t sleep. Sitting here, listening to these hospital beeps, wide eyed… and I’m MISSING my people. I’ve seen them once since surgery and it was hard. I was so excited to see them, but the amount of energy it took to even just yell out their names with excitement, was too much energy. I can’t pick them up, they can’t climb on me, we can’t go on adventures, but what’s worse is I can’t be the mom I want to be for them right now.. Not physically, not mentally, not emotionally.. and I am really having a hard time trying to figure out how much to push myself right now to get back for them.. really to get back to myself, so I can get back to them. I thought this would be like every other surgery I had.. no idea why I thought that. You have a couple tough days and then you turn the corner. Mind over matter..Well this is mind over mind and honestly I’m terrible at this.. so if you have any advice, please, please don’t hesitate to share. (Might wanna take advantage because when I’m back feeling good and you try to give me advice on something I don’t want advice on.. you might get a little slap back ?) Serious side note: my prayers are to anyone fighting something medical and out of their control right now. There are things far, far, far worse than I am going through and the people getting through their everyday life while battling through those things.. y’all are true heroes, all my prayers are with y’all. Gonna try and get some rest.